Teaching Sharing and Turn-Taking to Toddlers

If you’ve ever watched two toddlers reach for the same toy at the same time, you already know sharing doesn’t come naturally.

For toddlers, sharing and turn-taking are learned skills, not manners they should already know. These social skills develop slowly, through experience, patience, and a lot of adult guidance. As parents, our role isn’t to force sharing, but to model it, name it, and gently practice it in everyday moments.

This guide will help you understand why sharing is hard for toddlers and how to teach it in a way that feels calm, age-appropriate, and respectful.

Why Sharing Is Difficult for Toddlers

Toddlers live very much in the present moment. When they hold a toy, it feels like an extension of themselves. The concept of waiting, negotiating, or understanding another child’s perspective is still developing.

At this stage, toddlers:

• Are building emotional regulation
• Have limited impulse control
• Are just beginning to understand “mine” vs “yours”
• Don’t yet grasp fairness or time-based turns

This means grabbing, protesting, or crying is developmentally normal.

What Sharing and Turn-Taking Really Mean at This Age

For toddlers, sharing doesn’t mean giving something up happily. It means:

• Tolerating another child nearby
• Learning to wait briefly
• Accepting adult-guided turns
• Beginning to understand simple social rules

Progress looks small and that’s exactly how it should look.

How to Teach Sharing and Turn-Taking to Toddlers

1. Start With Short, Adult-Guided Turns

Toddlers learn best when turns are short and predictable. Instead of saying “share nicely,” try naming what’s happening.

Example:

“You’re using the truck. When the timer rings, it’s your friend’s turn.”

This makes the process concrete and less emotional.

2. Use Everyday Language to Narrate Social Moments

Toddlers learn through repetition and simple language. Describe what you see happening without blame.

Try phrases like:

• “You’re waiting. I know that’s hard.”
• “Now it’s your turn.”
• “We take turns with toys.”

Naming the experience helps toddlers make sense of it.

3. Practice Turn-Taking During Calm Moments

Rolling a ball back and forth, or building together are gentle ways to practice waiting and taking turns. These activities have a natural back-and-forth rhythm: you roll, they roll; you place a block, they place a block, which helps toddlers experience “my turn, your turn” without conflict or high emotion.

It’s easier to learn new skills when emotions are low. 

4. Offer Choices Instead of Forcing Sharing

Giving toddlers a sense of control reduces power struggles.

For example:

“Do you want to share the blocks or the cars first?”

Choices help toddlers feel involved while still learning cooperation.

5. Model Sharing in Real Life

Toddlers learn more from what we do than what we say.

Say things like:

• “I’m sharing my snack with you.”
• “I’ll wait for my turn.”
• “Thank you for letting me have a turn.”

Seeing sharing models makes it feel normal and safe.

6. Avoid Labels During Conflicts

Calling a child “selfish” or “not nice” can shut down learning. Instead, focus on the behavior and the solution.

Helpful reframes:

• “You’re having a hard time waiting.”
• “We can figure this out together.”

This keeps your child emotionally secure while still teaching boundaries.

7. Use Visual and Auditory Tools to Support Waiting

Timers, songs, or counting can help toddlers understand that turns are temporary.

A simple timer shows:

• Turns end
• Waiting doesn’t last forever
• Adults will follow through

This builds trust over time.

8. Respect Ownership When Possible

Not everything needs to be shared. If your toddler has a favorite toy or comfort item, it’s okay to put it away before a playdate or let them keep it during play. Learning that some things are “mine” and some things are “for sharing” actually helps toddlers feel safer and more willing to share communal toys. You’re teaching boundaries, not selfishness.

9. Praise Effort, Not Perfection

Acknowledging effort builds confidence.

Notice moments like:

• Waiting briefly
• Handing over a toy with help
• Staying calm during a turn

Even when it’s just for a few seconds, simple affirmations like “You did a great job waiting!” help reinforce learning.

10. Stay Consistent and Patient

Sharing is not a one-time lesson. It develops gradually across months and years. Consistency, calm repetition, and emotional support matter far more than quick results.

Play-Based Activities for Teaching Turn-Taking to Toddlers

Turn-taking is a skill that develops slowly. These activities focus on practice, predictability, and emotional safety, rather than forcing children to “share nicely.” Each activity works best with an adult guiding the experience calmly.

1. Roll the Ball

Sit facing your toddler and gently roll a ball back and forth.

How it helps:
This creates a clear, visible turn structure my turn, your turn without competition.

Parent tip:
Say the words out loud: “My turn… Now it’s your turn.”

2. Push the Car Ramp

Take turns sending a toy car down a ramp or slide.

How it helps:
The physical pause between turns teaches waiting in a natural way.

Parent tip:
Use a countdown: “One… two… three… go!”

3. Musical Turn Pause

Play music and pass an object around. When the music stops, whoever holds it takes a turn.

How it helps:
Combines movement with listening and self-control.

Parent tip:
Keep rounds short to avoid frustration.

4. Stack-One-Block Game

Each person adds one block to a tower per turn.

How it helps:
Encourages patience and cooperation without rushing.

Parent tip:
Celebrate the process, not the height of the tower.

5. Scoop and Pour Station

Set up two containers and take turns scooping items like rice, beans, or water.

How it helps:
Slow, repetitive actions make waiting feel manageable.

Parent tip:
Use one spoon per person if needed, then move to sharing one tool later.

6. Board Books With Turns

Choose lift-the-flap or interactive books and take turns opening flaps or turning pages.

How it helps:
Builds turn-taking into a calm, familiar routine.

Parent tip:
Say: “First you turn the page, then I turn the page.”

7. Pop-the-Bubble Turns

Blow bubbles and take turns popping one bubble at a time.

How it helps:
Fun, motivating, and perfect for practicing impulse control.

Parent tip:
Limit to one pop per turn to keep expectations clear.

8. Toy Washing Station

Wash toy animals or cars together, taking turns scrubbing or rinsing.

How it helps:
Structured roles reduce conflict and support cooperation.

Parent tip:
Assign clear tasks: “You wash, I rinse.”

9. Sing-and-Pause Songs

Use songs with pauses (like action songs) where each child gets a turn to act.

How it helps:
Teaches waiting and anticipation through rhythm.

Parent tip:
Name whose turn is coming next to reduce anxiety.

10. Simple Snack Turns

During snack time, take turns passing items or choosing pieces.

How it helps:
Real-life practice makes turn-taking meaningful.

Parent tip:
Start with snacks your child likes but aren’t their favorite, so waiting doesn’t turn into a power struggle.

11. Toy Timer Game

Use a visual timer for popular toys and switch turns when time ends.

How it helps:
Shows toddlers that turns are temporary and fair.

Parent tip:
Let your child choose or start the timer so they feel involved

12. Copy-My-Move Game

Take turns doing a simple action (clap, jump, spin) and have the other copy it.

How it helps:
Builds attention, imitation, and social connection.

Parent tip:
Keep movements silly and simple.

13. Animal Sound Turns

Each person makes an animal sound on their turn.

How it helps:
Low-pressure and fun, perfect for shy toddlers.

Parent tip:
Model first if your child hesitates.

14. Puzzle Piece Turns

Each person places one puzzle piece at a time.

How it helps:
Encourages patience and shared problem-solving.

Parent tip:
Choose puzzles with large, easy pieces.

15. Turn-Taking With Adults First

Practice all activities with an adult before introducing peers.

How it helps:
Toddlers learn best in emotionally safe and predictable relationships.

Parent tip:
Once comfortable, slowly add other children.

Common Mistakes Parents Can Avoid

• Expecting toddlers to share like older children
• Forcing immediate sharing during emotional moments
• Comparing siblings or peers
• Over-explaining during meltdowns

Final Thoughts

Teaching sharing and turn-taking to toddlers isn’t about perfect behavior, it’s about building trust, patience, and social awareness one moment at a time.

When we slow down, use simple language, and meet toddlers where they are developmentally, we help them learn skills they’ll use for life. With consistency and compassion, sharing becomes less of a struggle and more of a shared experience.