How to Raise a Problem-Solver

Your child’s puzzle piece slides under the couch and they start crying for you to get it out. Or their favorite toy car loses a wheel and they’re at your side, insisting you fix it right now while you’re trying to make dinner. These moments are frustrating for everyone, but they can also become opportunities for real learning.

Problem-solving is how we figure things out when the answer isn’t obvious. It’s the thinking between “this isn’t working” and “I found a way.” This involves reasoning, creativity, and trying different approaches until something works.

Your child has been doing this since before their first birthday. When a baby figures out how to reach a toy just out of grasp, that’s problem-solving. You’re building on something already there.

Here are some practical ways to strengthen problem-solving skills during preschool and kindergarten years, through the play and daily routines you’re already doing.

The Power of Freedom

1. Free Play: Step Back and Let Them Lead

The most powerful thing you can do is let your child play without directing them.

When kids explore on their own terms, they develop more creative and flexible thinking than when adults show them “the right way.” Resist jumping in when they’re struggling to make something work.

The materials matter:

• Give them toys and materials that can be used in many different ways: blocks, cardboard boxes, blankets, art supplies, dress-up clothes
• Household items work beautifully: measuring cups, wooden spoons, cardboard tubes, fabric scraps
• Skip toys that only do one thing at the push of a button

During free play, problems to solve come up naturally: a block tower that keeps falling, play dough that won’t stick together, a blanket fort that won’t stay up. These organic challenges are the best kind of practice.

If you want to create specific problem-solving challenges, here are a few ideas:

• The rescue challenge: Place a small toy in a tall container where their hand can’t reach, and let them figure out how to get it out using things they can find around the house.
• The bridge builder: Set two chairs a foot apart and challenge them to build a bridge strong enough to hold a toy car.
• The marble run: Give them cardboard tubes and tape to create a path that gets a ball from the table to a cup on the floor.

2. Free Conversations: Ask Questions That Invite Thinking

The way you talk with your child shapes how they think.

Instead of questions with yes/no answers, try open-ended questions such as:

• “How could we…?”
• “What’s another way to…?”
• “Why do you think that happened?”

When your child is stuck, don’t immediately give the answer. Try: “That is tricky. What have you tried so far?” or “What else could you try?”

Reading books together is perfect for this. Pause and ask what they think will happen next. Ask why a character might be feeling a certain way. Wonder together about how a problem in the story could be solved differently.

The Power of Daily Moments

Problem-solving skills grow during the regular parts of your day when you give your child a little more space to think.

1. Getting Dressed

When you have a few extra minutes in the morning, let your child work through the challenges of getting dressed.

Let them figure out:

• Which way the shirt faces
• Which shoe goes on which foot
• How to work the zipper

When something’s not working, don’t immediately fix it. Ask: “How does that feel? Does something seem off?” Let them discover that the tag goes in the back, that the shoe fits better on the other foot, that the zipper needs to start at the bottom.

2. Cooking Together

The kitchen is full of problem-solving opportunities, and your child can see you thinking through challenges in real time.

Narrate your own problem-solving out loud and let them help:

• “Hmm, I don’t have enough room on this pan. I could use a bigger pan or make two batches. What do you think?”
• “This dough is too sticky. I wonder if adding more flour would help.”
• “We’re out of milk. Should we go to the store or use water instead?”

3. Clean-Up Time

Tell your child the goal: “All the toys need to be off the floor before dinner,” and let them work out how to get there.

They’ll figure out:

• That some things stack and others don’t
• That they can carry more if they use a basket or bin
• That if they shove everything in randomly, the lid won’t close

Let them discover these things through experience. If they’re truly stuck, you can offer a small hint: “I wonder if the bigger blocks might fit better on the bottom?” But resist solving it for them.

When Frustration Hits

Problem-solving involves frustration. Watching your child struggle is uncomfortable, but the struggle is part of the process.

When your child is frustrated:

• Acknowledge the feeling: “You’re really frustrated that tower keeps falling down”
• Express confidence: “This is hard, and I know you can keep trying”
• Offer encouragement to keep going: “You’re figuring it out”
• Give a small hint only if they’re truly stuck, not the whole solution

You’re Already Doing This

Every time you wait before helping, you’re building these skills. Every time you ask “what do you think?” instead of just giving the answer, you’re doing it. Every time you hand them materials and let them decide what to do with them, you’re creating space for problem-solving.

Some days you’ll be running late and will just put their shoes on for them, and that’s fine. You don’t need to turn every moment into a teaching opportunity. What matters is creating moments, whenever you can, where your child gets to think, experiment, try again, and discover that their own mind is a powerful tool.